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Top 'Totty' |
Estonia |
Sahlene was simply stunning in a high-split white dress. Her backing singers were also 'top-grade birds', one of whom has the cutest arse ever. |
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Ugliest Bird |
Germany |
Quite simply, a typical kraut. |
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Ugliest Bloke |
Greece |
I could've given a collective award to the quintet of Russian 'oldish' boys, but have decided that the greasy Greek deserves the accolade on his own. Back to the kebab van for more hair oil! |
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Best Song |
France |
For the 2nd year running, I thought the French entry was the best song. A lovely ballad entitled 'Il Faut De Temp' sung in the most beautiful language in the world. Enough to turn on the romance in anyone. |
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Worst Song |
Russia |
Again for the 2nd year running, the Russians were at the opposite end of the musical spectrum. They make an effort to be 'hip', but it is simply embarrasing. |
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Best Voice |
UK |
Our very own Jessica Garlick of 'Pop Idol' fame undoubtedly had the best voice. Indeed, at one point whilst holding a note the audience were moved into a spontaneous round of applause. |
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Worst Voice |
Estonia |
Not the Estonian entry, Sahlene, who I thought gave a good performance, but the female presenter of the show. Her voice was simply irritating and made me feel like throwing something at the TV. |
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Best Performance |
UK |
Jessica was simply brilliant and it would have been impossible to give a better performance. Overall, there is no doubt in my mind that she should have won the competition. However, with the 'tactical' voting of Eurovision it was never going to be. |
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Worst Performance |
Russia |
Even forgiving the awfulness of the song, the performance of this 'boy' band was just pathetic. |
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Best Costume |
UK |
A third and well deserved Squelchy Award for Jessica Garlick. She looked fantastic in a stylish, black, partly see-through dress. |
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Worst Costume |
Slovenia |
Simply drag queens. Yuk! |
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